Tuesday, March 13, 2007

One question test for Depession

I may have some variant of a Psych. degree, so in theory I should be able to answer this myself. But, alas, I studied the hypothalamus much more than human interaction.

I stumbled across a song by Imogen Heap called "Hide and Seek" (featured on my friend's myspace site). It has a traditional, upbeat chord progression but somehow has a sad, longing overtone. It made me sad-ish just to listen to it.

So I did my typical response: self-observation (hah). Here's what I found . . .

The place of least friction in my soul is in the sad, the homesick, the slightly despairing.

I take to C.S. Lewis here who is the one that uncovered "desire" as a longing-for-God. So I don't know that I see this form of depression as being altogether evil. I don't live here all the time, but it is so easy for me to snap into this space. And it feels quite comfortable.

But I am curious about you - whoever you are reading this. If you are one who struggles with mild depression of some kind (clinical or otherwise), does this post resonate with you?

Or perhaps you would like to answer this: how would you describe the place where your soul seems most at ease, with the least friction, like being in the perfect spot on a slow river - the place where you can effortlessly float at that perfectly effortless speed?

1 comment:

Bethany said...

mmm, I can relate to this...I feel that way when I hear sad songs and oddly enough like it...I have a play list that I titled my rainy day mix and it's just for days when I need a little pick me up something to make me feel at peace, "less friction"...better...odd thing about that play list though is that it's all sad songs...well, maybe not nessessarily sad songs, but songs that make me feel sort of sad, or melencoly, or dark - lots of miner cords in that play list and that sort of thing...but somehow that always makes me feel better...then after reading this I started thinking about the whol place of less friction thing...and the whole place of desire thing...and here are some of my places/times...night time on the beach...full moons...fogg/mist (I love fogg, it has such a mystical and dark and sort of sad feel to me), empty theaters with the lights off (or maybe just one soft light on), sad soft slow day dreamy melencoly songs, beautiful words placed together in a way that evokes that same sad sort of homesick feeling, sunsets (more so then sun rises, but sun rises too), deep dark full forests, rain, black and white pictures (particularly black and white pictures of old people)...that's just a few, I'm sure there's more - but one thing they have in common is that they all evoke that same sort of sad melencholy ache...that soft depression. Don't know if this is what you where looking for but these were my thoughts as I read this.