Friday, May 12, 2006

God never says NO unto nothing.

I have struggled, like many before, with God saying, “no.” In particular, when God declines to move, act, or allow what seems blatantly within His stated desires. Either God was inefficient or I misunderstood something.

I misunderstood.

Sometimes, I have found, God choosing one value over another. Often it feels like He will choose the “smaller” of the two (or three or ...). For example, God pushed the apostle Paul into a decade-long, desert experience (small, personal) instead of using Paul’s obvious talents and history to accomplish much (big, many people).

But God never says “no” unto nothing. He is always causing/creating something. Even in the dark times, God is often drawing with fluorescent ink :-) It’s not until we are given a black-light (i.e. God’s insight/illumination) that we can see what used to look like “nothing.”

When God says “no,” though, it’s still very difficult. Even when I know He’s drawing with invisible ink, it’s frustrating, hurtful, etc. [Note: especially when He draws in my kids’ lives]

So I struggle with God. I wrestle with Him and antagonize Him when He says, “no.”

Murray Moerman taught me something deep today. He said in regard to a particular frustration of mine, “Did God say ‘no’? In other words, did God say, ‘Stop praying’?”

Whoa. Sometimes God says, “keep praying but I’m not giving you want you’re asking for yet.” Sometimes God says, “No.” I am wrestling with this. Maybe God needed a break from me wrestling with Him.


John DelHousaye said...

We all struggle with our end of the covenant. Is God the only one who makes the rules? The rabbis suggest God was obligated to intervene in our lives. For me, I sometimes wonder about what an honor it would be if President Bush or the Pope actually was aware of my existence. To be honest, I am impressed if even my friends think about me! You know where this is going--what an honor for God to actually so NO to one of my prayers. This doesn't help me emotionally, especially when my children are sick. But I do rest in embracing the conviction that my pain has been noted.

BAB said...

Sometimes we just need a dislocated hip. Maybe?